OMG! What a read!! Growing up having an eating disorder for a long time during my primary school days to university i felt that i always had a negative relationship with food in general. I felt very early i was looking towards what was being shown on the television as screen time was all i had being raised from a single mother so, she was juggling with two kids and trying her best to keep everything under controlled. I remembered at the age of 6 i would always go to the salad bar instead of having a substantial proper meal for lunch since no one was there to monitor my food intake. Which led into high school where it became a habit of either skipping lunch or counting my calories to make me feel a bit better about myself.
In university, was when i got away with a lot just by over scheduling myself with classes and never wanting to go home because home = having to eat a meal. So i would make my schedule as full as i can make it either with classes or taking up a part time job just so i can avoid eating. Realizing later that i needed to get help with my eating where i stayed in a inpatient treatment centre for four months just trying to understand where my fear in eating stems from to better understand what food i like eating to the foods i don't.
Today, i feel like I have a better grasp on what food i enjoy eating versus foods that i strongly will avoid or in better words that i fear of eating. Although, i am not completely "recovered" from my eating disorder as there will be easier days than others. i can say for now it's still a working progress but i know it will be okay :)
This is very late, but I love this so much. I always grew up feeling like I always had too much on my plate, and it was a source of shame. While there's much for me to do to eat healthier than I currently am, I'm happy with the progress I've made.
I very recently stopped counting my macros - I was obsessively planning out my meals so that I could ‘zero out’ at the end of the day and it was taking a toll on me (I’ve also realized that I’m pretty intense and an all of nothing kinda gal). I loved the results but nothing about eating and living like that was sustainable. Part of me feels guilty that I’m not ‘disciplined enough’ or that I don’t ‘want it enough’ or that I’m just not enough in general and that my body is somehow proof of how I’ve fallen short.
Once I stopped counting macros, I reverted back to habitually under eating; not intentionally but because like you and many others, I don’t recognize my hunger cues anymore… thank you for sharing your book recs, I’ve heard of intuitive eating but I wasn’t sure if it was legitimate or not. I’m excited to check them out.
Earlier this year I started a page @acceptingmyselfthisyear to try and keep track of my progress and be authentic about my body and how I often struggle with it. My goal for the page is kinda bare minimum: I just want to accept my body for what it is and maybe along the way practice some gratitude for it and become stronger all around.
I feel like this post was totally written for me. I have young children. I have twin one-year-olds, and a three year old. I haven’t had confidence in my body since my bounce back after my first born. I don’t want to miss out on the cupcakes I ordered or the burgers. I’m unfortunately exceptional at cooking. (However, my picky toddlers would disagree). My covid battle was coupled with a deployed husband. I had no one to lean on but food. Often I’d feel so depressed until I just drank that Starbucks, or had that cookie. I’m really trying to reset my mindset. I’m not alone anymore, I don’t have to hug myself in the form of food. Also, just so your aware…there may come a day where you get so wrapped up in the little humans you created…that you don’t look in the mirror for months. When you do, you are terrified by the stranger you see. Maybe it was just me, I had twins. Regardless, regaining a healthy mindset regarding food is my number one goal this year. It’s been a very hard struggle. I just want to feel healthy enough, to be a good parent. To feel comfortable in my own skin. I really resonated with this. Which is weird, you don’t expect someone whose successful to have a similar thinking pattern. It’s very eye opening, everyone is human.
You sound like a super hero to me! I understand looking in the mirror and not recognizing yourself - oftentimes body dysmorphia gets the best of me. Sending you a lot of love and good energy!!💛
OMG! What a read!! Growing up having an eating disorder for a long time during my primary school days to university i felt that i always had a negative relationship with food in general. I felt very early i was looking towards what was being shown on the television as screen time was all i had being raised from a single mother so, she was juggling with two kids and trying her best to keep everything under controlled. I remembered at the age of 6 i would always go to the salad bar instead of having a substantial proper meal for lunch since no one was there to monitor my food intake. Which led into high school where it became a habit of either skipping lunch or counting my calories to make me feel a bit better about myself.
In university, was when i got away with a lot just by over scheduling myself with classes and never wanting to go home because home = having to eat a meal. So i would make my schedule as full as i can make it either with classes or taking up a part time job just so i can avoid eating. Realizing later that i needed to get help with my eating where i stayed in a inpatient treatment centre for four months just trying to understand where my fear in eating stems from to better understand what food i like eating to the foods i don't.
Today, i feel like I have a better grasp on what food i enjoy eating versus foods that i strongly will avoid or in better words that i fear of eating. Although, i am not completely "recovered" from my eating disorder as there will be easier days than others. i can say for now it's still a working progress but i know it will be okay :)
This is very late, but I love this so much. I always grew up feeling like I always had too much on my plate, and it was a source of shame. While there's much for me to do to eat healthier than I currently am, I'm happy with the progress I've made.
Also, I love that you listen to Ricky Montgomery.
I very recently stopped counting my macros - I was obsessively planning out my meals so that I could ‘zero out’ at the end of the day and it was taking a toll on me (I’ve also realized that I’m pretty intense and an all of nothing kinda gal). I loved the results but nothing about eating and living like that was sustainable. Part of me feels guilty that I’m not ‘disciplined enough’ or that I don’t ‘want it enough’ or that I’m just not enough in general and that my body is somehow proof of how I’ve fallen short.
Once I stopped counting macros, I reverted back to habitually under eating; not intentionally but because like you and many others, I don’t recognize my hunger cues anymore… thank you for sharing your book recs, I’ve heard of intuitive eating but I wasn’t sure if it was legitimate or not. I’m excited to check them out.
Earlier this year I started a page @acceptingmyselfthisyear to try and keep track of my progress and be authentic about my body and how I often struggle with it. My goal for the page is kinda bare minimum: I just want to accept my body for what it is and maybe along the way practice some gratitude for it and become stronger all around.
here’s to food freedom!!
I feel like this post was totally written for me. I have young children. I have twin one-year-olds, and a three year old. I haven’t had confidence in my body since my bounce back after my first born. I don’t want to miss out on the cupcakes I ordered or the burgers. I’m unfortunately exceptional at cooking. (However, my picky toddlers would disagree). My covid battle was coupled with a deployed husband. I had no one to lean on but food. Often I’d feel so depressed until I just drank that Starbucks, or had that cookie. I’m really trying to reset my mindset. I’m not alone anymore, I don’t have to hug myself in the form of food. Also, just so your aware…there may come a day where you get so wrapped up in the little humans you created…that you don’t look in the mirror for months. When you do, you are terrified by the stranger you see. Maybe it was just me, I had twins. Regardless, regaining a healthy mindset regarding food is my number one goal this year. It’s been a very hard struggle. I just want to feel healthy enough, to be a good parent. To feel comfortable in my own skin. I really resonated with this. Which is weird, you don’t expect someone whose successful to have a similar thinking pattern. It’s very eye opening, everyone is human.
Thank you Megan.
You sound like a super hero to me! I understand looking in the mirror and not recognizing yourself - oftentimes body dysmorphia gets the best of me. Sending you a lot of love and good energy!!💛