Looks like it’s just about time for another collective journal entry. I’ll start:
I am in yet another stage of transition, which if we’re being honest, we always are. But it’s an interesting feeling I’ve been grappling with for the last handful of months. Coming from decades of being an overworked, incessant doer to hitting a point of burnout, retreating to rest and repair my nervous system, and now preparing to return back to ‘the scene’- it’s been a jolty recalibration. It’s even harder after doing the internal work of untangling the belief that my worth is related to my productivity because now I value my peace over my output which can make it hard to be motivated to make anything.
My friend Addie was mentioning how Hummer stopped advertising for a few years because they were known as gas guzzlers in a world becoming more aware of climate change. They retreated and refocused their time and energy on creating an electric vehicle to come back with. They went back to the drawing board, into product development, to reinvent themselves. That’s where I feel like I am right now. I’ve built an online business and have literally grown up on camera, learning who I am and what I think in front of millions. In the early stages of my career, I was taught that consistency is key and to constantly be posting. My content shifted from one passion to the next, adding arms to the media company I had inadvertently created and ultimately, I got tired. I was doing incredibly well on the outside looking in, but feeling so depleted and lifeless from the inside looking out. All I saw was redlines and deadlines. The joy had left my life without me even knowing it. I was buried under to-do lists getting dopamine bumps from crossing another task off.
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